LAST NIGHT....

Last night my entire family was on a boat. It was an ocean going yacht, with several floors and different deck levels. It was dark, mid-evening, but the fog lights and different colored decorative accent lighting made for a beautiful ambiance as we were docked in the middle of nowhere. We sat outside on elaborately decorated furniture and discussing conversations that I remember nothing about.My family has never owned a boat, in fact my husband Sam is very prone to sea sickness but last night it didn't seem to bother him.
I got up and rounded the corner to walk along the side of this floating mansion, holding on to the railing so that I wouldn't slip on the freshly polished white fiberglass flooring. There was someone walking towards me in the dark. He was taller than me, but wasn't taking very much care or concern about slipping and falling the way I was. As he approached he moved towards me in a way that was so familiar. We met under a spot light hanging at least 15 feet above our heads and I as looked I saw the most beautiful big brown eyes staring back at me. I was gasping for air, and trembling with uncertainty because the person standing before me was Addison. Not an apparition, or a ghostly looking figure, but actually Addison. In the flesh, it was my Addison, clad in bagging jeans, a long sleeved shirt and flip flops of course.
I said "Oh my God, Addison! What are you doing here?!" He replied calmly "Well, I thought you had been asking for me for a while now? Did they tell me wrong?" I stood there staring at him, mouth half open in disbelief with that star struck look on my face people get when they realize they are standing in front of a famous actor or professional athlete and have no idea what to say.
The next thing I remember was leading him around the side of the boat towards the rest of my family shouting "Addison is Here! He's HERE!" No one seemed scared, but just happier than everyone had been in months. We had so many questions for him, that everyone was talking over each other but he seemed to be able to hear everyone individually.
He told my dad that he was a scribe of some sorts in Heaven, but "it's not so bad, I kinda like it." He was very happy to tell me that there WERE animals in Heaven, just like I had hoped. He said "Jessica, just like you read in that book 'Heaven is for Real,' Jesus Does have a multi-colored horse, it's really cool." He told my mom that people in fact DO have wings in heaven, but of course very different from the angels wings.

I told him "I'm so happy you are here, but why did you come?" Addison replied "Sorry, I THOUGHT you wanted to see me!" I grabbed both of his hands, which were warm, unlike the last time I held his hands, and said "I've wanted to see you more than ANYTHING for the last 88 days, I just didn't think that was ever possible. Did you hear me crying for you? Did you hear me say repeatedly that I would do ANYTHING to see you again?" He looked at me with that familiar face, furrowed eyebrows like I was insane, and said "Of course not, you know it doesn't work that way. I was TOLD you wanted to see me. I don't know what's going on down here, we're having fun where I've been! And you KNOW I can't stay." I told him about visiting his High School, and traveling to Nashville, and ALL the work I had been doing and he smiled and said what I had always known he would say if he knew what we were doing - "Figures, I wouldn't expect anything less from you." I said, "do you know Nick Spivey? I met his mom on facebook, he is about your age, his mom and I have talked and you two sound a lot alike." He thought for a minute, lifting his eyes up and to left trying to think and said, "No, I don't know anyone named Nick, but all I have to do is ask, and I can find him."
It was just then that I realized the boat we were on was docked near a bridge, and cars were driving on it at interstate speeds in both directions. Then came an awful sound. A sound that when you hear it, you just know, something gruesome and tragic has just occurred. Then we saw from the boat, a little red truck plummeting towards the water from the bridge above. We all looked on in horror, no one had a phone, and those people need help, what are we going to do??!!! Addison watched too, as the truck hit the water with a sound as if it were smashing into concrete. He turned and said, "it's okay, the woman will be fine, the man is gone already, but he went Home, he's probably already seeing Jesus' face right now." He went onto say "that's how fast it happens you know. In the blink of an eye - you're just THERE."
I hugged Addison and held him so tight. I could smell him. That Addison smell hadn't changed. The way it felt to hug him hadn't changed. Everything felt exactly the same as the last time I hugged him on January 1st.

I so desperately wanted to never let him go, but I felt something licking my face and was very confused. As I opened my eyes, I saw my dog Bella, who had crawled up beside me in the bed as it was nearing dawn. She was licking tears from my cheeks as I slept and had awoken me. I put my arms around her when I realized the dream that I had just had, and whispered to her "I saw Addison Bella; I HUGGED him; I was WITH him." And Bella didn't mind to stay right there next to me as I cried myself back to sleep for a few short hours.
I'm not really sure how my mood will be for the rest of today after having such a VIVID and wonderful dream. Because when I was fully awake this morning I realized that it WAS just a dream, and Addison had not come back to me which makes the ache in my heart so apparent. But at the same time, I think back on it and it's the strangest feeling to be crying and smiling at the same time because in the subconscious of my mind I saw my brother last night. I heard him and smelled him and hugged him and it all seemed so incredibly real.....